|The Poetic part of my brain!
Hey ppl this is just an assortment of some poems that I have written. There not very good, but it came straight from the heart & that's all that matters. So I hope you enjoy and STAY AWAKE!!!!!!!!!
A day filled with questions
People with no remorse
As I stray upon a rough painful course
He makes everything difficult which I've come to see
But the only Peron who gives a damn is me
As you follow a river made solely up of tears
There you'll fund my biggest fears
Failure, being alone and people who don't care
The unkind words that cause a constant tare
Silence, Appearance, and what people think
In this river I slowly sink
The present, the future and hardships of the past
Not being able to take it
Never knowing how much longer I'll last
Slowly wanting to rise above the rest
But the only question is, can I pass the test?
Can I change and always be willing to give a helping hand?
Can I not always care about other's feelings and let them know exactly where I stand?
Is there something below the surface, or am I just what people think?
In the chain of life am I just another link?
When I finally make it out of the water, I search for a place to call home
As I walked raindrops began to fall gently on my face
I thought of everything that has happened, and all I am left with is a hurt feeling that I can't replace
The rain slowly came to a halt
I looked in the mirror, and all I saw was someone I don't know, or maybe someone I used to be
I looked at all the people that were hurt around me and I thought, is this also my fault?
What have I done to cause and deserve all this pain?
All of these people that surround me are driving me insane
Outraged at everything and everyone, I ran out into the cold night air
My legs hurt but I kept moving as if someone was following me
In a split second I fell and hit the ground
But I woke up in the morning with the sunlight shinning in my face
How can this be I was in my bed safe and sound?
I opened my eyes, even though it took all my strength and might
And I said to myself "It was just a dream right?"
I went on a walk today
Strangely I didn't take my normal path, I walked a different way
Took a stroll up memory lane
I once again felt an emptiness inside, I thought things were different but it turns out they are just the same
I walked up the street of faces I used to know
Friends and foes of long ago
I stopped at the park, which used to be my favorite place to play
It was so long ago, but it seems like it was just yesterday
I went to my favorite restaurant to get a bite to eat
A great feeling came over me, A feeling of defeat
I went to the river to look at the great view
All these things I had, yet I never knew
I had great friends that were always there
I had a family that always tried to help
But the only person I seemed to care about was myself
All these things that mean so much
But I only looked at the things I couldn't have, the things I couldn't touch
I kept walking and I realized that things are different know from the way they used to be
My friends and family were gone now, it was just me
I was left alone with my thoughts
And the decisions I had made
The ones that were both wrong and right
All the trouble I caused, all the fights
I thought of the laughter that used to ring threw the air
I thought of all the tears that were shed
All of this played over and over in my head
I walked passed the place I used to call home
I never felt so alone
Sometimes I am lost on what to do and say
All I hope is that tomorrow is a better day
No more pain, it all ends here
No more lonely nights, no more tears
No more "friends" that act like foes
I'm sorry guys that's just the way life goes
No more wondering about if I was right
No more listening to the fights
No more wondering about the question why?
Don't worry mom, now I truly can fly
No more disappointments
I'm sorry I didn't mean to let you down
No more hurtful words, not even a sound
No more sorrow
No more hoping for a better tomorrow
Please don't blame me for what I do
Just remember I will always love you
She smiles always, but deep inside no one knows
The light inside her which softly glows
To her friends she always tries to be of help
Denying that sometimes she needs it herself
Thinking that noone cares and they never will
The world is spinning, but her mind remains perfectly still
Sometimes she cries herself to sleep
Slowly gaining strength, but inside she will always remain weak
But what is weakness to her besides just another fear?
Nothing will ever change, even if she sheds a thousand tears
There will always be regrets that weigh on the back of her mind
The truth on herself she will always be searching to find
The light starts to slowly fade, She grasps on to it trying to make it stay
Trying to make all the hurt, pain, lies and heartbreak go away
The pain sometimes leaves, but it's not gone for awhile
There's only a few people who can make her smile
A few gentle souls in this world that understand
A few caring friends, that are always willing to give a helping hand
Not understanding, but never giving up on me
Always trying to find good things to see
Now I fear I've left them with nothing good to see at all
They no longer want to be there, to break my fall
So now she cries and everyone knows
The light inside her has been put out, it no longer glows!
"My own Reflection"
I saw a girl standing before me
Behind her eyes there is secrets and stories to see
On the outside she appears to be like everyone else
Never letting anyone get to know her, because sadly she doesn't know herself
Hiding the truth behind a mask of lies
This way no one will know when she cries
All these things that she has to deal with
A bruised heart that is half broken, and half not there
Friends that betray here and only pretend to care
As I watched the girl more closely, I found out the way things really were
I was standing in front of a mirror, and that girl I was her!
"Left Forever Sad"
I saw you today
How can we let our friendship die like this?
You just rode by with nothing to say
All of the good times I will surely miss
I miss how we were best friends
I miss the times we shared
I am saddend that this has all come to an end
But do know I will forever care
I should have said something to you when I had the chance
Instead of turning away
I took one glance
But there is so much more I wanted to say
I wanted to tell you that you will always be in my heart
I wanted to reminisce on all of the good times we had
I guess we have just grown apart
And I am the one left forever sad
Don't let them get to you spin
Don't let them see
How much all of them truly mean
Abd the person you've come to be
Their nice people, don't hurt them like you did the rest
Push them all away
You know it's for the best
You know you can't get close
Don't worry about yourself
Worry about the people around you, that mean the most
"Reach for the stars"
"Make me proud"
I'm sorry, I didn't know mistakes weren't allowed
"your a poet"
"your my best friend"
It seems like the compliments never end
Yet I know I don't deserve them
I am not the great person you all make me out to be
I am simply and plainly me
I have flaws, and I am sorry I do
I am sorry I pretend not to love you
The truth is I love you with every piece of my heart
I always have from the start
I push you away, because I don't want you to see
All of the things that are bothering me
I don't want to hurt you
I don't want you to care
Believe me I know I am being unfair
I just don't want to be the one to cause you pain
Instead I will keep it all locked up until I drive myself insane
Please believe me
Sometimes I may be uncaring
Or maybe I seem to be
I don't mean it
All I want to do is help
I always try to put people first, and not think of myself
Sometimes I can't handle things and I break down
But don't worry I always pick myself up from of the ground
It just takes me some time
I don't need help
I can handle things fine
And by myself
I am always here to listen, and you know I truly do care
I will forever be a shoulder to cry on and "Just there"
But please don't blame me for the way I sometimes act
Give me time, and I promise I will get my old self back!
"Not my Fault"
Why can't I forgive her?
Why can't she see
That no matter what she does, it always comes back to hurt me
Everytime we fought, she made me think it was my fault
She made me feel as If I was the one bringing our friendship to a screeching hault
Now I finally see that it was her fault and I did nothing wrong
So maybe our friendship wasen't meant to last very long
Maybe I won't forgive, Maybe I won't forget
I'm trying but I can't allow this grudge to go just yet
Please don't start to cry
I am saying my final goodbye
I'll do you one favor before i let you go
I won't leave oyu with the question why?
The answer is because everytime we fight, you make me feel like wanting to die
You were supposed to be my friend
Someone I could count on, someone to be there
But in the end I realized that you just didn't care
I was shattered into pieces all over the place
The piece that fits to my heart I can't replace
It saddens me to say I see the light
My friendship with you is no longer right
Maybe it never was
So I guess this is the end
Although I'll always love you like a sister, goodbye my friend!
"Pain and unanswered Questions"
Words can mean so much, but at times they can mean nothing
What are you to do, to stop the pain?
How do you keep yourself from going insane?
How do you make the tears stop flowing?
What is your reason to keep on going?
She paces around the room, and tears begin to form in her eyes
All the truth she tries to deny
It's there bus she pushes it away
Making excuses for everyday
A dagger pierced straight threw the heart
Once again all of the memories restart
Fun, laughter, heartbreak and tears
The truth is the only thing that she fears
Trying not to remember, trying to forget
She sleeps and when she awakes, the first thing she thinks is "Is it gone yet?"
"Has all the pain left me?"
"Is it far away?"
"Will today be a good day?"
All these questions I can't answer
I can't take your pain away
The only advice I can offer up is take things day by day!
"A single word"
A tear drop that falls down your face
An emptiness inside, that can't be replaced
A glance or single word that can turn your ups into downs
A hurtful laugh that can turn your smiles into frowns
Trying to be strong and prove that your fine
But how can you when all these things weigh on the back of your mind?
You can't answer the question why?
So the only thing left to do is cry
Cry for tomorrow, cry for today
Cry in hope that you'll have a better day
People don't understand, or care
In your heart all these things cause a constant tare
Words hurt even in your dreams
Now I finally realize things aren't always what they seem
I'll be fine it just may take awhile
In the end I'll get back that certain smile
"Things are never the way they seem"
I thought you were fine & everything was ok
I can't understand why you would try and take your own life away
Sure the pain ends there
But don't you realize that there are people who truly do care?
Friends and family that would have always tried to help
Instead you took the pain upon yourself
You seemed happy with your life & I am still trying to understand
Don't you know that all of your friends would have gladly gave a hand?
All these questions with no answers and believe me I've tried
I've tried to figure out why you would want to commit suicide
You are needed and all of my words are long overdue
But don't you see how much we all love you?
I read threw your poem book so many times
And now all of the words are repeating over and over in my mind
"A chance to escape" "Just one little pill"
How could I have not noticed, that you were deathly ill?
I keep hoping that I will wake up, and this will all be a dream
I keep hoping things aren't the way that they seem
Now the only thing left to do is wait
I have faith that you'll make it threw
You have to, because we all need you
I have more I am just to lazy to type them up!